Break Ups...

This is not working out...
It's not you, it's me...

Palms became sweaty, beads of perspiration rolled down my face, heart raced almost to explosion. I started to choke as if a pair of large hands are wrapped around my throat and I'm about to die of asphyxiation. In that instant, my knees turned to jello and my lunch suddenly decided to come up. Is this it? I asked myself. Is this the end of the relationship that I held dear? I can't believe that the person I promised forever to has decided to end that forever, today. The room started to move to dizzying heights; I held on for dear life and mumbled "okay", and that was it.



I used to cringe at the thought of breaking up with someone; especially, with a person who I want to be in my future. It's messy, painful and there is no easy way or a magic word to make it all alright. There are two roads to take: be happy that your significant other had a revelation that you two wont be happy with each other in the long run, or be the crazy, bitter suicidal ex that turns into a homicidal stalker lurking in the shadows.

I've always had an inclination towards the latter, but enlightenment struck me. I have mentioned that my ex's are either married or well on their way there and I have been reduced to nothing more but a stepping stone. A martyr, maybe; bitter? NOT ANYMORE. I can always go for the most despicable actions to get my way, but then again I'll just take the higher road. It's not much of an effort until you have come to a realization that instead of a stepping stone, you have become a hindrance for someone to find her true happiness. We hurt, we bleed, we are only human to be selfish and look out for our own good. Then again, ask yourself is this what I want, or should I wait for something better. If that person has found something better after you, well then, don't you think there is something good in store for you too? Sometimes we are just too focused on something mediocre that we failed to notice the beauty that waits us... Be patient, just enjoy the ride we aint there yet.