eight months ago...

I finally found the person I want to spend my life with.

Something in me changed... unconsciously.

I started to think less of myself and more of the other person...

I was overwhelmed... with things that were alien to me.

I started to think twice of my actions and the repercussions to our lives.

My focus got diverted from myself to the person and to building a future

I lowered my pride and thought of the possibility to compromise and address differences

I started to get every emotion and logic involved to add balance

I started to love so much that it was easily mistaken for loathing

because I was too afraid of the love I had for that person I just did not

know what to make of it

I started to love so much that it might... just might drive me crazy because it was overflowin...

but then it dwindled... by an unknown cause the lifetime we planned dissipated

what I thought was meant for me started to seem different from what I pictured it to be

what I treasured the most started to hurt

what I love started to be disconnected, the spark disappeared, the light in her eyes did not shine for me anymore and the future not only seem distant but start to be non-existent....

then my world crumbled....

the feeling is similar to being stranded on a remote island...

no past to go back to and no future to look forward to

I got scared of the change

afraid to go back to the life I once had because now it seems like an uncharted territory for me after I've abandoned it....

I stood there faced with two choices

stand there cry, weep and sulk for what I lost

or

stand up get back on my feet and try with all the might I have... try to rebuild what I have left... which is myself....
because I've got nothing left
just me, myself and my faith in who I have become

I retraced my steps to find out where I went wrong

then I learn

I become better

and I AM BETTER.