― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
I have often found myself scared of being left alone. Scared of being alone to fend for myself; I did not have a clue how to live my own life. I got so used to a life where everything was brought to me. I was scared of taking ownership of my own life. I cannot trust myself. I might ruin just ruin it.
Then it did happen.
My life crumbled. I found myself pitying my life at rock bottom.
I asked. Why? I never had anything to do with it. I did not live it my way. Why did this happen? I blamed everyone! It was not my fault. I was everyone's fault and I never had a hand in it.
Precisely, I never had a hand in it. I never stopped it from spiraling downwards nor did I do anything to make things better. I left my life to be lived by those around me, who were also busy living their own lives.
I found myself standing by the ruins of what used to be my life. I stood there wondering how to put these pieces back together, or should I? HOW?
Then, I realized.
I can put it back the way I want it to be. How it should be. There is no other way. If I want my life back, I have to pick up the pieces. Then I did.
Brick by brick.
There's a diffrence between a failure and a fiasco. A failure is merely the absence of success. Any fool can achieve failure. But a fiasco, a fiasco is a disaster of epic propotions. A fiasco is a folk tale told to other's to make other people feel more alive because it didn't happen to them. - Elizabethtown
ReplyDeleteI'd like to think that what happened to me is a fiasco, a disaster of epic proportions. I don't think it would've fazed me and give me this urgency to be better if it were any other failure-- I'm somehow used to those things.
ReplyDeleteThere's no way to go but up. :)